Waking Up
by nargles.and.salt
Summary: updated and fixed! Just another how katniss and peeta fell in love all over again and became happy after Mockingjay and all the real and not real questions. WONDERFUL PEOPLE!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the HG ****:(**

**But enjoy!**

Rememeber it is called **fanfiction!** If you don't like, write your own... :)

* * *

><p>After Peeta came back it took us a while to get accustomed to each other; it was hard to hold each other's gaze, to talk or even be in the same room.<p>

Greasy Sae tried to adjust our daily routines. She made breakfast at my house every morning and Peeta was supposed to join us, which he usually did.

At lunch we were up to our own devices, one day after I came back from hunting I found a note from Peeta inviting me to eat lunch at his place. After that I eat lunch at his place every day. For dinner Greasy Sae came back to my house and sometimes even ate with Peeta and me.

It was rare for us to miss meals _but_ we rarely spoke.

Most of the time when we did speak it was Peeta's real or not real questions. When a question was too much for one of us, we simply walked away, literally…

There was an iron curtain between us. It had to come down but we were both scared.

One night that Greasy Sue didn't stay for supper so Peeta begun his questions earlier than usual.

"Your mom is dead, real or not real?" That was a heavy question for me. "Not real," I knew he was expecting an explanation from me but that was all I could answer so Peeta continued.

"You're mom feels like there's nothing to come back to, even though your here. Real or not real?" He hit the spot. I whispered my answer and stood up to leave "Real" he also got up and grabbed my wrist.

"Don't, don't leave. Not yet." His actions surprised me but I didn't argue, how could I? I owed Peeta all the answers he wanted, I owed him, not only because of how many times he saved my life or because how people hurt _him_ to get to me.

I owed him more than that because I understood all his pain after the first hunger games. He suffered after he found my feelings for him weren't real. I owed him because I felt those feelings right now...

No matter how much I wanted the old Peeta back, he couldn't come back and that hurt me. I... I needed Peeta. I was that selfish so I had to answer and do what he wanted me to. I had to pay and suffer for not the loving my boy with the bread when I had the chance to.

"Peeta.." He hold my gaze as I said his name again. "Peeta"

"Katniss," As soon as he said it I understood the look on his eyes.

It was like a he pressed a button and I suddenly woke up. The _sound _of my name coming from his voice woke me up. "Katniss," he said it again with deep fondness. I had done the same to him when I said his name.

Who knew, the sound of each other's voice saying our names… that was _it.._

The iron curtain shattered.

* * *

><p><strong>That's all! <strong>

**Pardon my laziness on not re-checking my horrible grammar :P **

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**c:**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own the HG ****:(**

**But enjoy!**

Rememeber it is called **fanfiction!** If you don't like, write your own... :)

* * *

><p>I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the living room sitting on the left side of the couch as he took the right. As soon as he let go of my wrist I hugged my knees to me facing him. Peeta sat crookedly but he seemed comfortable. We faced each other but we couldn't bring ourselves to <em>look <em>at the other.

"You have a question, real or not real?" He sighed heavily as I asked. "Real, but I'm afraid of your answer…" he said quietly. It made me feel horrible.

I placed my right hand on top of his left; I couldn't find words so I waited until he asked.

"You miss Gale, real or not real? _Actually _you rather Gale be here than me." he took his hand away from mine. I knew exactly how to answer.

"Real, I miss Gale. Not real, I want _you _here... no one else." I tried to catch his eyes but he avoided the eye contact.

"Peeta, I need you here. I'm that selfish; I need to see you so I can... breathe. I don't know how to explain it but... I simply want and need you in my life. You can go ignoring me as much as you want but please don't hate me… for being so selfish...! I can't stand the thought of you hating me anymore." I was crying again so I hugged my knees in tighter and hid my face.

Peeta's POV-

Her words took me by surprise, I was sure she would trade me for Gale.

Then suddenly she's telling me that she doesn't want to live without me. I was processing her words and fighting the fake, shiny memories when I realized she was sobbing.

It wasn't the first time I saw Katniss cry but more than ever I felt like I had to comfort her no matter how much she had hurt me or how much I was supposed to believe she hurt me.

"Katniss," I said her name for the third time in months.

"Please don't cry, I had to know, I had to make sure you weren't suffering because I was here and I could never hate you on my own free will. Those memories that have been hijacked, I can distinguish them now, I still get confused but I don't feel so much hostility anymore! I can't hate you Katniss."

I leaned in and awkwardly put my arm around her hoping she wouldn't push me away. To my surprise she leaned into my body and cried harder. Neither of us spoke for a while and I thought of what she said; of how she thought she was selfish for wanting me around.

"Why Peeta! Why have you not left, why haven't you found someone else, someone that deserves you, someone whose not broken!" When she finally spoke she surprised me yet again. Katniss was looking at me with puffy red eyes and I smiled with my answer.

"Because, I'm selfish too, Katniss. I've always wanted you, only you. Even when I've tried not to. It's always been you. You're my oxygen Katniss, you are all I've ever needed to survive or to die for. Since I got here I've been scared witless that you might run away with Gale or that I might hurt you and even worse; that you'll take yourself away from all of us." Tears slid down my face as I finally told her my feelings.

"I still love you, Katniss Everdeen and no amount of venom is going to change that."

Katniss POV-

It felt like the old Peeta was back. I knew he meant those words, I reached and wiped the tears away resting my palms on his face and repeated Haymitch's words. "Peeta Mellark, I could live a thousand lifetimes and not ever deserve you."

He knew I couldn't bring myself to say those three words but he didn't know why. What I told him seemed enough to keep the old Peeta with me. He leaned his forehead against mine.

We stayed connected like this for several minutes, feeling each other's breaths. Silent tears slid down our cheeks. Eventually Peeta wiped my tears and he gave me an awkward hug. Then he announced he had to leave since it was getting late. Before I could stop and think it through I shoot up and took hold of his arms.

"Stay. Please." Peeta seemed to have an inner fight as he stood and decided. "Katniss... I don't want to hurt you.. In my nightmares, well I trash around too much...I don't want you to see me like that and I don't want to hurt you." He seemed to be lost with words as he explained.

I surprised both of us as I actually giggled. "I trash around too, maybe we can have a wrestling contest, I've put on some pounds from sitting around eating and doing nothing." He chuckled and grabbed my hands. "It's not funny."

I was desperate, he wasn't planning on staying the night, I knew that if he didn't wake up beside me tomorrow, I would regret our talk tonight and sink back again.

I did the only thing I knew to convince Peeta. I took my hands away from his and put them around his neck running my finger tips from his neck to his hair. I reached on my tip toes and whispered in his hear "please" then sat my head against his heart.

My flop attempt to be persuasive seemed to work as he hugged me against him and he sighed, "Fine, I'll stay tonight but if something goes wrong we're not sharing a room again, ever." He seemed part amused, happy and annoyed. He took my hand and we made our way to my bed.

Butterflies were flopping in tummy as I thought of lying next to him again. I knew we would not kiss or anything but just the fact of having his body against mine made my heart speed uncomfortably.

* * *

><p>C:<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own the HG ****:(**

**But enjoy!**

Rememeber it is called **fanfiction!** If you don't like, write your own... :)

* * *

><p>The "iron curtain" had come down about two months ago. We shared a bed every night now, mostly at my house, <em>our<em> house. Peeta never trashed around in bed but I did. His episodes usually came in the morning and he would lock himself in the bathroom. As days passed he stayed in the bathroom less and less. Today he had stayed in the room and even let me hold him as he sobbed and fought his inner battle.

I wasn't scared for me I was scared for him.

We develop this tendency to be around each other 24/7 unless there was something important to do like my hunting and once in a while Peeta would bake and make a special delivery. Otherwise we were like planets orbiting each other.

We had not kiss, there had been moments but one of us always cleared our throats and moved on like nothing happen.

Last night I dreamed of his kisses and today that was my goal. To feel his lips against mine once more.

I build up my bravado all morning. The fact that I was able to hold him during his episode this morning only encourages my goal even more.

"Why haven't you gone hunting this week?" Peeta asked as we ate our lunch in peace. Greasy Sae had stopped coming for the last two weeks, she only came four times a week to make supper now.

"I'm not sure; I'm turning into a slug I guess." Truthfully I was trying not to leave his side. Then an idea popped into my head. "Why don't you come with me tomorrow?"

I tried not to sound excited as I asked but failed miserably. He laughed "I'll scare all the game away, if I remember correctly you said I was too loud."

I frowned kicking myself mentally then he reached for my hand "but I would love to come with you."

Peeta's POV

We woke up earlier than usual to go hunting. Katniss had actually invited me hunting, it was a big step specially since I didn't know how to hunt but nonetheless I was a little too excited.

It was the end of September so the weather wasn't too cold but I still wore a heavy jacket just in case. Katniss came down the stairs wearing her father's jacket and her oh-so-Katniss hunting boots. If it was wrong for me to think that she looked very alluring then I pledge guilty. I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Ready?" she asked with a big smile that actually showed her teeth. My heart skipped a beat, "More than ready" I lifted my hand to hers and she took it.

We hold hands all through town and the Seam; it was the first time we went out together so of course people were staring.

As we entered the woods I made a point of stepping on every visible branch and fighting a big smile. A couple more minutes later she turns around and faced me "Peeta I know what you're doing!" she frowned and even puckered her lips like a little girl.

I laughed and said "And what exactly am I doing, sweetheart?" I tried to sound like Haymitch, she slapped my shoulder and we both laughed.

"It's nice being in here, it's like you're breathing another world." she smiled and nodded knowing what I meant.

We reached farther in, she told me to stay put so I sat on a trunk as she scanned the surrounding area.

Katniss POV

It felt odd yet extremely reassuring having Peeta with me in the woods. I had already brought three squirrels down; it seemed their population grew in the past few months. I managed to kill a wild turkey too. I made my way back to the clearing were Peeta had stayed. He wasn't sitting in the trunk. He was nowhere around.

"Peeta!" In a panic I dropped my game and started looking for him. "Peeta!" There was no answer, I needed to stay calm but my breath was picking up and my heart was accelerating in a very bad way.

"Peeta where are you!" I half sobbed and half yelled. I stood quietly in the middle of the woods trying to hear his noisy steps. There was nothing. Then I heard a scream. For one second I was taken back to the Quarter Quell but this time I knew his cry was real. "Peeta!"

When I found him he was laying on the floor trashing, he was groaning, sobbing and would scream in between. This was the worst episode I had seen him have. "Peeta! Please! I'm here, I'm here, stay with me!"

I knelt down and took hold of his hands, when he felt the pressure he tried to get free. "Peeta look at me! I'm here stay with me! Please." I begged as I tried to keep his hands down, I knew that he could easily get free and hurt me but he was struggling with himself to stay put not to push me away.

"Katniss?" he sobbed as his body relaxed, I still had hold of his wrist and half my body was stranding him. Slowly I let his hands go and he sat up and hugged me, my knees were wrapped around his waist as we sat there and let our bodies calm down.

"What happened?" I faced him and wiped his tears when I asked.

"I'm not sure" he whispered "I sat on the trunk then started walking around, next thing I knew I was back in the games looking for you. I didn't call your name but I kept looking up the trees trying to find you." he gave me a sad smile and continued, "I tripped over a branch and I just laid there waiting for someone to come kill me. I thought you had abandoned me in the arena..."

He didn't want to continue so I didn't ask anymore. We were looking at each other. Then he kissed me.


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own the HG ****:(**

**But enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Peeta-<p>

The kiss was urgent, it reminded of the phrase "like a blind man seeing light for the first time."

Katniss didn't stop me and even pressed herself against me so I kept going. I realized how much I missed her body contact.

Her hands unzipped my jacket and she ran her hands on my chest. My arms wrapped her even closer to me.

She opened her mouth as I licked her bottom lip. I loved her taste. Our tongues wrestled for dominance and knowing better I let her win and she smiled.

"You let me win, real or not real?" I smirked and made a trail of kisses down her jaw to her ear. A moan escaped her lips as I nibbled her ear and her hands pulled me closer to her.

She slid her hands underneath my shirt making a way from my stomach to my chest. Her boldness drove me mad and I moaned at her touch, I left her ear and took her mouth again. It was blissful. There was no games, no war, and no death, only us.

I placed my hands on her waist underneath her coat touching the naked skin between her shirt and pants. I felt her goose bumps form and she made to take my jacket off.

I knew were this was leading and I didn't want to stop, I couldn't stop but we had to. "Katniss we should go back." I whispered between kisses.

"Why? I'm perfectly fine here." She stated before fighting my tongue again. I laughed then bit her lip; I had to stop because whatever was building up it would not happen in the woods, if I could help it. "I'll bake you cheesebuns" I pushed her away slightly and she surprisingly didn't argue as I readjusted my jacket.

Katniss-

I knew it was a lost case when I saw his face. Peeta wanted to stop not because he didn't want to keep going but because he was still a gentleman. I wasn't letting him off that easy after all it was only getting better...

Without waiting for another signal I got up and crossed my arms. "Fine, let's go eat some cheesebuns." I looked down at him and he gave me a very amused smile so I stomped away looking for my abandoned game.

I gave Peeta the silence treatment during supper even though I was dying to complement his cheesebuns, they were extraordinary good tonight.

I was being childish and I wasn't sure why, maybe I was embarrassed for the way I reacted to his kiss, I kinda threw myself at him didn't I? But it was a really good kissing session...

"Katniss?" Peeta waved his hand in front of my eyes, he was standing beside me. I had spaced out and immediately blushed for the directions my thoughts had taken me.

"Come back yet?" Peeta said laughing as he noticed my blush, "yeah I'm back..." I said turning with a sighed. I looked a Peeta who was looking down at me with a smile from ear to ear.

"What?" I felt self-conscious, he was giving me a very un-Peeta look, it made me feel...exposed.

"Oh nothing, I was just remembering..." I narrowed my eyes at him, "remembering what exactly?" He leaned down and took my chin. He gave me a peck on the lips.

My stomach was full of butterflies as I opened my eyes and looked at his. I didn't see the boy who suffered through the games or the boy who had been hijacked. His eyes were full of something sweet and melting, happiness?

I wasn't good with words so I did the next thing in my mind. I pulled him closer to me by his shirt and whispered in his ears.

"Why is it that you're able to tell the whole nation you love me but I'm scared senseless to admit when we're alone?" He immediately knew what I meant.

Peeta-

"I love you," a laugh escaped my lips as I told her. "I love you Katniss Everdeen!" It felt like a chain broke as I told her again. I felt gleeful, she already knew but I hadn't told her in ages, I couldn't bring myself to.

She stood up her chair, hugged me and exclaimed, "Oh Peeta, you're back. You're truly back to me!" I was, I never left I was only afraid. Too many things had happen

. I wasn't sure what was real or not real and I knew those shiny memories were never going to disappear but it felt that me declaring my love had been a big step. Holding it back had felt like an imprisonment.

We were kissing again with as much urgency or more than in the woods. Too soon she broke away, I made to bring her closer when she said, "hold on, please. There's something I need to say." She took my hands in hers.

"Peeta, I don't know how to say it right but I couldn't live without you, I know I said this already, but I'm not like you in a sense that I can just say what I'm meaning to say and I'm sure you already know but it won't feel right if I don't tell you right now. For one I know I'll later regret not telling you now and second I might not be as brave later to tell you and..."

Katniss was ranting on and she seemed oddly nervous. I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, "I know Katniss."

"I know you know Peeta! But I need to say it!" She seemed like she was going to continue talking but instead sighed and was quiet for a couple seconds then she looked up to me with such ferocity I almost laughed.

"I love you Peeta and I'll always lo-" That was all I needed to hear, as I kissed her I grabbed her waist and sat her on the table. There was no way either of us would stop this time.

She didn't fight the kiss and I gave in completely as she took off my shirt right away. Our tongues wrestled and this time without mercy I claimed victory.

My hands roamed her breast and when she moaned my name I ripped her shirt off. Her knees wrapped around my waist and by some kind of grace the table was at the right height that our waists made contact on the right spot.

We both moaned and she pulled me closer, grinding harder.

I had removed her bra when she tugged my pants. "Let's go upstairs, love." The pet name came out naturally and she didn't mind it.

She smiled and nodded as I led her off the table. I took her hand and led her to her room.

Once there I hesitated but she pulled me to her bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last Chapter!**

* * *

><p>Katniss-<p>

Peeta took my hands and kissed them, it was odd being half naked in front of him but the way he looked at me it actually made me feel good.

"Katniss you're so beautiful, please don't feel like you have to do this." Leave it to Peeta to question my desires, "no one's forcing me. I want to be with you Peeta; I want to give you everything that I am." I blushed as I said the following. "It will be my first time and I want it to be with you. I always want it to be with you."

"You took the words out of my mouth" he said then took my lips. We were in bed and he was on top of me.

I tugged his pants and he removed them and slowly took mine off. There was only my underwear between us but he left them on. We were kissing with such passion even stronger that any time I had experience today.

The hunger for more came back with a vengeance and soon we were touching each other like our life's depended on it.

I wrapped my legs on his waist but he pushed my stomach down, before I even felt rejected, his fingers were running outside my underwear.

His touch felt amazing and I moaned into his mouth. He pressed his fingers against me and moved his mouth to one of my breast. My head arched back and I called his name with a voice I didn't recognize.

He finally took the underwear off and his thumb circled in a spot I didn't even knew existed but it felt more than amazing. I needed more, "Peeta! Please! I... I need...more... you...Peeta." My request was incoherent but he understood as his mouth made its way up to my mouth again.

He positioned himself, "it will hurt Katniss." He didn't ask or warned me, he simply stated and it turned me on even more.

As he pushed in my insides burned in a painful way. I had experienced worse pain but as he pushed all the way in I wanted to slap him, yank his hair and even push him away. But another part of me actually felt good.

"Are you ok?" his sweet voice pushed away all the angst I had felt for a moment and I laughed nodding. He kissed me and pushed out, "oh Katniss you have no idea, it feels so good, Katniss" he mumbled as he pushed in and out slowly. Soon I wanted more, my hips followed his movements and we were colliding. There was no more mumbling.

We were calling each other's names loudly, we grunted and moaned loudly. There was no way to count how many times I called his name and told him I loved him. Even harder was to count his claims of love towards me.

Peeta placed his thumb back to the sweet spot and played with it, it drove me insane. Soon I swore I was flying, it was amazing, and I climaxed pulling his hair too hard. He called my name with desperation and collided on top of me without pulling out.

We didn't speak. There was nothing more real than this moment but I had to ask, "Real or not real?" Peeta laughed as he pulled out and settled us underneath the covers. "Real, I think." We both giggled and soon I feel asleep.

Peeta-

There were no nightmares and unfortunately I slept so deeply I didn't know if Katniss had any. When I woke she wasn't in bed anymore, I had a small panic attack until I heard the shower. I slowly crept in and joined her in the shower.

"Hey" I said and pulled her waist close to me. The warm water felt good against our bodies. "Oh! Hey." She seemed surprised then her expression turned bashful. "For a second I thought you run away." I teased her and gave her hair a tug.

She laughed and lost the discomfort. "Mr. Mellark if you ask me to marry you then you won't have to worry about such things." My heart skipped a beat.

I kissed her eagerly and before we knew it she was against the wall with her knees wrapped against my waist. I was holding her up and we were making love again. This time it was quicker. It felt like a reassurance from last night.

After our shower I realized why I had kissed her in the first place.

She was making breakfast as I changed then it sunk in what she had asked.

I found the pearl I gave her during the Quarter Quell and made my way downstairs too fast that I almost slammed into her in the kitchen.

"Peeta what's wrong? Why in such hurry?" She seemed half worried half amused.

Without wasting time I got down in one knew and opened my palm showing the simple pearl.

"Katniss Everdeen will you marry me?"

Our breakfast burned.

* * *

><p><strong>!<strong>

**C:**


End file.
